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Poll
Do you find it easier or harder to edit someone else's writing compared to your own?
Yes
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
No
20%
 20% [ 1 ]
It Varies
80%
 80% [ 4 ]
I don\'t know
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 5
Writing Tip
Our monthly writing tips are written by our very own TerishD. You can read more in Terish's Blog located in "The Abstractions" area of the forum.

No Easy Fix

While the Marine moved to sit on our opponent, he told me to keep the poster on his face while attempting to grab his hands.
This is a horrible sentence. There are three people being referred to: the narrator, the Marine, and the opponent. Who is exactly doing what in the latter part of the sentence is not clear. The sentence needs to be fixed.

What I want to stress here is that there is no easy fix. Filling the sentence with Marine, me, and opponent (or other such references) would actually make the sentence tedious. There is no proper solution except to completely rewrite. Many people who take up writing however do not want to go through the work. Sorry, but if you really want to be a good writer, you have to take on the labor of writing.


The Marine sat on our opponent and sought to grab his hands while telling me to keep the poster on his face.
Not only is this sentence more clear, but it is tighter. A great improvement for a little bit of work. Completely worth it.

Monthly Writing Prompt
Here’s an exercise: write down ten first sentences or titles, playing with one of these concepts in each. Then pick the most promising and go write that story.
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 burn it down

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AuthorMessage
Pookabear




Female
Number of posts: 23
Age: 18
Location: my room :D
Current Mood:
Registration date: 2011-06-29

PostSubject: burn it down   July 11th 2011, 10:00 pm

burn the pictures,
burn the letters,
burn it all.
we'd burn down this town
if given the chance.
you and me?
we're just alike.
but you gave up the fight.
you left this place,
and you left me behind.
you didn't even stop to say good bye.
you can't burn the memories.
go a head, close your eyes,
grind your teeth,
scream and shout.
Now make your choice.
I'm still in this town,
are you going to burn it down?
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Pookabear




Female
Number of posts: 23
Age: 18
Location: my room :D
Current Mood:
Registration date: 2011-06-29

PostSubject: Re: burn it down   July 11th 2011, 10:03 pm

Just a quick poem. Nothing I worked hard on or anything. but tell me what you think anyway
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TerishD




Male
Number of posts: 837
Age: 52
Location: Louisiana
Current Mood:
Registration date: 2008-07-21

PostSubject: Reply   July 11th 2011, 10:25 pm

Take some time and put some thought into what you are doing, and you can have it actually express the emotion you desire. While you might have intense feelings while typing something out, it takes careful thought to really make something blare out its message. Learn to let your feelings grow in a controlled positive manner, and you might be surprised at the quality of what you write.

Keep smiling. Don't be afraid to let them know that you are really crazy.

_________________
Fantasy puts more requirements on the writer than any other fiction, because the world must be made as real before anything else can be real.
Fantasy Gaming: Antheel Rules 1.3.1 - Get the HARDCOVER!
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burn it down

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