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Poll
Do you find it easier or harder to edit someone else's writing compared to your own?
Yes
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
No
20%
 20% [ 1 ]
It Varies
80%
 80% [ 4 ]
I don\'t know
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 5
Writing Tip
Our monthly writing tips are written by our very own TerishD. You can read more in Terish's Blog located in "The Abstractions" area of the forum.

No Easy Fix

While the Marine moved to sit on our opponent, he told me to keep the poster on his face while attempting to grab his hands.
This is a horrible sentence. There are three people being referred to: the narrator, the Marine, and the opponent. Who is exactly doing what in the latter part of the sentence is not clear. The sentence needs to be fixed.

What I want to stress here is that there is no easy fix. Filling the sentence with Marine, me, and opponent (or other such references) would actually make the sentence tedious. There is no proper solution except to completely rewrite. Many people who take up writing however do not want to go through the work. Sorry, but if you really want to be a good writer, you have to take on the labor of writing.

The Marine sat on our opponent and sought to grab his hands while telling me to keep the poster on his face.
Not only is this sentence more clear, but it is tighter. A great improvement for a little bit of work. Completely worth it.

Monthly Writing Prompt
Here’s an exercise: write down ten first sentences or titles, playing with one of these concepts in each. Then pick the most promising and go write that story.
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 :: The Verses (Poet's Forum) :: VersificationShare | 
 

 unmarked

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AuthorMessage
oskar




Male
Number of posts: 696
Age: 73
Location: portugal
Current Mood:
Registration date: 2008-08-13

PostSubject: unmarked   March 15th 2011, 6:51 am
Unmarked Page

This blank page looks like a snow landscape
a plateau of possibilities, and thoughts not
yet born. II will leave it blank after all snow
will thaw to greenness and the plateau will
bustle of mice, men and Angora goats.
But I may write something on the left hand
corner just a small mark, nothing deep, just
to say halloo and then leave the blankness
to its own silence.

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